CHAPTER 12

Mike sat in front of his locker rocking back and forth silently. He hadn't spoken to anyone since he'd attacked Brett on the ice. He'd withdrawn completely into himself and was barely cognizant of the fact that there were people in the room around him. Several members of the press tried to get a comment from him regarding the fight, but he continued to stare off into space as if they weren't even there. When the locker room was empty except for him and Mike, Billy went over to him to help get him ready to go home.

"C'mon, baby, we need to get you out of your gear and into the shower." Billy whispered as he pulled Mike's gloves off and then started to untie his skates. "You know, you really got in a few good licks on Brett. I think he was thoroughly stunned to see you fight back."

 Mike made no response other than to move when Billy told him to. Billy finally got him into the shower and then started to wash him. When Billy tried to rub the soap below Mike's waist, Mike shocked him by shoving him roughly into the tiled wall.

"I can do it myself." Mike whispered as he took the soap away.

"Welcome back." Billy said, somewhat stunned. "I was only trying to help you."

"I know." Mike sobbed as he leaned his head against Billy's shoulder. "I didn't mean to snap at you. I don't know whats going on with me right now."

"Mike, it's been a really rough couple of weeks." Billy said as he rubbed Mike's shoulders. "Do you want to stay by yourself again tonight?"

"No, I want you with me." Mike said, making a feeble attempt at a smile. "Is it bad that I wanted to hurt Brett - really seriously hurt him tonight?"

"No, baby, it makes you human." Billy said. "It makes you no different than me or Hatch or any of the other guys that were cheering for you to hurt him. After all the pain he's put you through, he deserves to get a little of his own."

When they walked back into the locker area from the showers, Mike stared in disbelief at the way his gear was strewn about the floor in front of his locker.

"Sorry, I didn't take time to put everything away." Billy said with a smile. "I just needed to get you out of your gear and get you showered so we could go home."

"Alright," Mike whispered.

Mike rested his head against the window while Billy drove them home. His life only seemed complicated before. Brett now seemed so easy to figure out - he was only using the knowledge he had of Mike's past to control him. He looked over at Billy and smiled as he watched him singing along with the radio. When they got into the house, Mike led Billy into the kitchen so they could sit down and talk.

"Billy, I think it's time I trusted you with everything. "Mike whispered as they sat across from each other.    "You need to know what Brett's been holding over me for all this time."

"Okay, just tell me what you want me to know - if you don't want to talk about anything, you can leave it out." Billy said softly as he took Mike's hand.

"He knew some of the guys that I played with in Prince Albert." Mike said softly. "They told him all about what they used to do to me. When he told me that he knew about it and that he would tell everyone what kind of a slut I was, I caved into what he wanted from me."

"Mike you were just a kid - how could you have been accountable for what you did then?" Billy asked, trying to figure out where the conversation was heading.

"In the first three weeks that I was there, I'd been with over half the team at least once." Mike replied.

"You fucked over half the team?" Billy asked in astonishment.

"Not exactly - at least not because I wanted to - I was with them because they gave me two choices; either I put out or they'd put me out." Mike replied sadly. "The first day I was there for practice, one of them left a bar of soap in front of my locker with a note on it that said 'dont drop me'. It was pretty obvious what they were talking about."

"Wasn't there anyone you could tell about this?" Billy asked as he sat there.

"And what could they do - I mean it would've been my word against their's and you know that the entire group of them would only say that they were just trying to rattle my cage a little." Mike replied.

"So, it started the first day you were there?" Billy asked, anxiously.

"Yeah, I was in the shower and one of the older guys came in and took the soap away from me and then he scrubbed my ass and made me bend over while he spread me open for all the guys around to see." Mike's voice trailed off as he covered his face with his hands.

Billy sat there with his mouth gaping open as he listened to Mike's confession. He'd heard rumors about some of the hazing that some of the guys got when they went to play junior hockey, but what Mike was telling him about was even worse than he'd ever thought possible. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he almost missed it when Mike started talking again.

"Billy, I'll understand if you don't want to be around me anymore." Mike whispered. "I know I'm damaged and dirty. I don't deserve to be cared for because I don't know how to earn it or make myself worthy of it."

"Mike, how can you say things like that? My God, youre so..." Billy was so shocked at what Mike had just said that he couldnt form words in his mind so that they could be spoken.

"Broken," Mike completed the sentence with how he felt. "I'm broken and hollow and I don't know if there's anyway to make me whole again."

"Will you let me at least try?" Billy asked as he took Mike's hand in his. "All I'm asking for is a chance."

 "Alright, but don't be mad if I want to go really slow." Mike said quietly. "I want to be with you and I want to be able to love and trust you. You're gonna have to take your time with me."

"Mike, as far as you're concerned, I have nothing but time." Billy said as he leaned across the table and pressed his lips to Mike's forehead.
 

CHAPTER 13

It had been over a week since Mike had begun to confess everything to Billy. Mike woke early on a Sunday morning to the sound of pouring rain normally, he'd roll over and go back to sleep on a rainy morning, but today was different. He looked over at the man whose arm was leisurely stretched across his waist and couldn't help but smile. Billy was soundly sleeping after sitting up most every night that week while Mike cried and told him all the sordid details of his younger years.

"I told you everything." Mike whispered as he pressed his lips to Billy's cheek. "You didnt run away from me. Thank you."

Billy woke a short time later to the sound of gleeful laughter - it was the laughter that usually was only heard when a child was getting away with being naughty. He dragged himself out of bed and walked over to the balcony. He couldn't believe the sight before him - Mike was standing on the balcony with his arms stretched out wide and his face turned up to the sky while the rain beat down on him. Billy stared at Mike for a few moments trying to figure out what was going on inside of him.

"Good morning." Mike's voice rang out as he looked over to see Billy standing there. "Come out here and join me."

"I think I'll pass." Billy said. "Rain just doesn't do anything for me."

"Aw, c'mon, this is beautiful." Mike practically giggled.

"How long have you been out there?" Billy said as he ventured closer to the glass doors that led to the balcony.

"Um, I don't really know." Mike replied as he pushed his rain-soaked hair out of his face. "Besides, I like it out here."

Finally acquiescing to Mike's insistence, Billy ventured out onto the balcony. He couldn't help himself as he allowed his hands to glide easily over Mike's rain-slicked skin. It was a delicious mixture of sensations - warm skin and cool water; the slippery feel of the rain sliding over them and the rough texture of Mikes unshaven face. Pulling Billy's face closer to his, Mike tentatively stroked his tongue across Billy's waiting lips. When Billy sucked Mike's tongue into his mouth, his hands slid down to where the waistband of Mike's drenched pajamas clung dangerously low on his hips.

 Lightening dashed across the sky and Mike shuddered in Billy's arms as the thunder that followed crashed in the distance. Billy slowly worked his left hand between their bodies and helped peel the soaking wet cotton off of Mike's body. When Mike leaned back against the balcony rail, Billy couldn't help but get lost in the soft expression in his root beer-colored eyes; the longing pout playing across his bottom lip; the hungry eagerness of his stiffened cock.

"I want you." Mike whispered his voice almost lost against the sound of another clap of thunder. "I want to be inside of you. Will you let me do that, Billy?"

"You can have anything you want." Billy responded as he moved forward to slide into Mike's outstretched arms.

Billy anxiously stood grasping the slippery rail as Mike stood behind him. His mind raced as he felt Mike's hands and mouth exploring his body gently. They'd been together before, but it felt so new. When he felt Mike slide a finger softly between his rear cheeks, he spread his legs a little further apart. Mike finally moved so that he was positioned at Billy's opening. He could feel what seemed to be the fluttering of a million butterflies within him as he slowly slid in.

"I won't break." Billy whispered as he felt the tentative strokes that Mike was sliding with.

Billy guided Mike's right hand down to grab his own cock. Mike slowly slid his hand up and down Billys length and gradually moved faster in response to the urgency that was building within his own loins. They came together both panting and breathless. Billy leaned his head back against Mike's shoulder and kissed him as the rain slowed to a light drizzle.

"Let's go back to bed." Billy whispered as he led Mike back into the house.

Mike rested his head on Billys shoulder while they lay in bed again. Their fingers were intertwined and they were just about to drift back to sleep.

"Thank you." Mike whispered softly as he looked up at Billy.

"What are you thanking me for?" Billy asked as he stared into Mikes eyes.

"Playing in the rain with me; listening to me; taking care of me everything, I guess." Mike said as he snaked his arm around Billy's waist. "I guess you could say I've never been on top before - thank you for letting me do that."

"I'm certain that I enjoyed that just as much as you did." Billy replied with a wink before kissing Mike again.

CHAPTER 14

Billy, believe me, the best place for Mike right now is home. Derian said as they stood in the ER waiting room. If hes got another concussion, Id rather have him in Dallas than Detroit.

I guess youre right. Billy admitted quietly. Id just rather be with him instead.

You know Tip aint gonna give you the time off just because Mikes hurt. Derian whispered.

Yeah on the other hand, with Mike not in Detroit with me, theres not going to be anyone or anything to keep me from tracking Brett down like the dog he is. Billy replied, a sadistic grin curving his lips.

They waited another hour before being allowed in to see Mike. Derian checked in, wished Mike good night and then headed back to the team hotel. Billy made himself comfortable on the bed next to Mike well, at least as comfortable as the limited space a hospital bed would allow for.

Too bad youre not feeling well, babe. Billy whispered as Mike snuggled against him. This gown gives me all kinds of ideas.

Im sure it does. Mike replied as he pretended to tuck the hospital gown tighter around him.

Billy spent the rest of the night awake watching over Mike as he slept. A mild concussion and he was acting like a mother hen. He wouldve laughed at it if he didnt relish every minute he spent taking care of Mike. Funny thing was, he was the one who always swore hed never fall in love with someone as hard and as deeply as hed fallen for Mike. It was secure and unnerving at the same time.  

 When the Stars boarded their flight for Detroit, Mike boarded a separate flight for Dallas. Hed contemplated going further on the trip, but the doctors told him that hed be better off at home resting instead of continuing on the grueling travel schedule. When Billy finally asked him to go home because he wanted him to get better, Mike relented and went on to Dallas. 

 As soon as theyd arrived in Detroit and had unloaded the bus at the hotel, Billy found himself on a mission. He wasnt going to wait for the following night to have a confrontation with Brett he was going to find him right now. Hed just started to leave his room when there was a knock on the door.

So, are we going to do this? Derian asked as he, Darryl, Brenden and Marty walked in.

Yeah, I, uh, didnt realize that this was going to be a team effort. Billy said with a grin.

Youre damn right its a team effort. Marty spoke up. Were all in this together and Brett fucking well deserves whatever we do to him.

Alright, lets do this. Billy said as he followed the guys out of the room.

Mike entered the house oblivious to anything beyond the throbbing pain in his head. Flying home today had been a rather ill-advised idea. He thumbed through the mail on the table in the hall and then headed up to the sanctuary of his bedroom; an envelope addressed in Bretts unmistakable scrawl fluttered to the floor unnoticed. Once upstairs, Mike stripped down and fell into bed. He wrapped himself up in the covers on Billys side of the bed and drifted off to sleep completely unaware of what was going on instead of practice in Detroit at the moment.

Fuck somebody mustve tipped the bastard off. Billy shouted as he punched the door of Bretts condo.

Nope, we just beat him in getting here. Derian said as he pointed to Bretts SUV as it turned onto the street. Alright, guys, get ready.

Mike sat straight up in bed a cold sweat covering him. He couldnt explain it, but he knew in his heart that it had something to do with Brett. Why he immediately figured it was about Brett unnerved him completely. He grabbed the phone off the nightstand and called Billys cell phone.

Hello. Billy answered, sounding positively chipper.

Fine, dont miss me. Mike teased.

Hey, babe, how are you feeling? I was gonna call you when we got back to the hotel. Billy said as he washed out the shirt hed been wearing when they ambushed Brett.

Im alright got a headache and still a little dizzy, but Im gonna be fine. Mike said. Is everything okay up there?

Mike, everythings fine. Billy answered afraid to tell Mike about the condition that Brett was in when theyd left him lying on his front steps. Listen, Im gonna meet some of the other guys downstairs in a while to go to dinner. Ill call you when I get back to my room.

Billy, what happened with Brett? Mike asked quietly.

Nothing happened with Brett I havent even seen him. Billy lied doing his best to hide the anxiety in his voice. Why would you ask about him, anyway?

I guess its just because I had one of those feelings I get when hes up to something. Mike reasoned. Ill let you go. Call me when you get back from dinner.

I will, I promise. Billy replied. Get some rest and Ill see you as soon as the trip is over.

Billy hung up the phone and sat down on the bed. He stared at nothing in particular for a few moments wondering how Mike knew that something had happened to Brett. Finally, he finished getting ready to meet the other guys and left his room. He was mentally berating himself on the elevator ride to the lobby for lying to Mike but he was afraid that telling him the truth would be much too hard for him to handle right now. Mike lay back down in the bed trying to quiet his mind. Part of him wanted to believe that he was letting his imagination get the better of him. However, he had a sinking feeling that Billy wasnt telling him all that he knew. 

 The next day, Brett was a scratch for the game. The official word from the team was that he was suffering from flu-like symptoms. Mike had his doubts. He was hoping that he was reading way too much into the distant tone that Billys voice had the last few times that theyd spoken. One look at Billy when the camera closed in on him removed the doubt from Mikes mind. As much as he hated Brett for everything hed done to him; as evil and cruel as hed been, at least Brett had never lied to him about what he was or what he was capable of. The question that now lingered in his mind was whether or not he could forgive Billy for doing something that hed wanted to do a million times as well as not being honest with him about it.

CHAPTER 15

Mike was waiting at the gate when the guys got home from the road trip. Billy immediately looked away when he saw him standing there.

Hey, I know that you cause Brett to have to sit out the game. Mike whispered as they stood waiting for Billys bags. I just want to know why you wouldnt tell me.

Because I told him not to, Derian interrupted. You have enough to deal with getting over this concussion you didnt need to worry about what a few of us were up to with regards to the ex-boyfriend from hell.

The ride home was made in virtual silence. Billy stared out at the cloudy December sky as Mike drove. When they arrived at the house, Mike turned and grabbed Billys chin and pulled their mouths together hungrily before either of them got out of the car.

What was that for? Billy whispered breathlessly as he slid back enough to look into Mikes eyes.

Because I have the afternoon planned and thats only the beginning. Mike replied with a wink.

And here I was thinking you were mad at me for going after Brett. Billy replied with a grin.

No, I was only upset because you didnt tell me about it. Mike said as they walked into the house. I dont want to have any secrets between us Ive lived too long with too many secrets and I wont do it anymore.

Fair enough, Billy said as he grabbed Mikes hands and used them to pin him against the wall. You know, Ive barely been able to sleep the past few nights. Im so used to having you next to me that having a bed to myself was strange and not at all comfortable.
 
Shut up and kiss me. Mike ordered as he stared into ice-blue depths of Billys eyes.

Billy leaned in and kissed Mike exploring every part of his mouth with a very zealous tongue. Keeping Mikes arms pinned above his head with his left hand, Billy began to work the buttons on the front of Mikes shirt open with his right. After pushing the navy silk out of the way, Mikes belt was the next obstacle that was quickly moved past.

Are going to take me here? Mike squeaked out softly as Billy lowered his head to suck on a hardened nipple that hed been rolling softly between his fingers.

Maybe, Billy replied as he slid his hand down to stroke Mikes erection through the rough fabric of his jeans. Besides, its a little chilly for us to use the balcony even if it is raining.

Mikes laughter echoed through the living room as Billy finally led him over to one of the couches. He knelt on the seat while Billy stood back and admired the view he had.

Has anyone ever told you how pretty you are? Billy asked as he slid his hand over the curve of Mikes left hip.

Not when theyve meant it as a compliment. Mike admitted looking over his shoulder to see the expression on Billys face.

Well, then I guess Im the first. Billy said as he leaned forward and placed a feather-soft kiss on Mikes bare ass.

Mike writhed uncontrollably on the couch as Billy took his time and stretched him. When he was backing up to meet every thrust of the fingers that were being slid into him, Billy figured that Mike was ready for him to fill him. Mike drew in a sharp breath as he felt Billy sink all the way into him in one stroke. His fingers dug into the expensive upholstery as they moved rhythmically together. Billy smiled as he felt the warm sheath that Mikes body was providing him as he slid in and out to an increasingly intense vibe. Mike tightened instinctively drawing Billys release from him as he did. They ended up collapsing together on the couch with Billy still firmly buried inside of Mike.

Im so glad that youre home. Mike whispered sleepily as he relaxed against Billys chest. The past few days have been so lonely.

Uh-huh, Billy whispered as he pressed his lips to the top of Mikes sweat-soaked hair.

They slept on the couch tangled up together for a while. Mike woke first and got up from the couch. Feeling the weight shifting on the couch, Billy woke. He looked over at Mike and then followed him when he held his hand out to lead him to a different room of the house.

So, you want to take a shower you couldve done that by yourself, you know. Billy said with a grin as he watched Mike getting the water temperature just right.

Yeah, I could, but I thought we might conserve a little water. Mike teased as he stepped into the shower.

Well, you know Ill do whatevers best for the environment. Billy replied with a laugh.

Before long, Billy was kneeling in front of Mike nuzzling his lovers manhood gently with his lips. He couldnt help but smile to himself as he heard the soft moaning he heard escape Mikes lips as he slowly took him inside his mouth. Mikes fingers moved softly through Billys hair as he found his hips sliding forward and back in time to the movement of Billys tongue up and down the underside of his shaft. Billy greedily drank every drop as Mike climaxed down his throat. Mike leaned back against the cool tile wall feeling sated and spent. Billy turned the water off and suggested they go to bed.


CHAPTER 16
 
Christmas was drawing closer and after spending days alone in his condo literally and figuratively licking his wounds, Brett decided to venture out to see if he could do some much needed holiday shopping. As he strolled through one of his favorite stores, he found a dark plum colored sweater that immediately made him think of Mike. Doubting that hed ever get the chance to give it to him, but hoping for one Brett bought it and had it wrapped in gleaming green foil paper with a gold, red and green plaid ribbon and bow. 

 When he arrived back at home, he looked through the mail and then sat his purchases around the base of the oversized tree that took up a third of his living room. Walking over to the bar, he poured him a full glass of Chivas and downed it silently. He knew that Mike shouldve had time to read the letter that hed mailed him a couple of weeks before. It kind of shocked him that he hadnt heard anything even if Mike only told him that his apology came too little too late. 

Brett winced as he collapsed in his chair. His ribs were still sore from the savage way Derian had kicked him. Part of him wanted to be mad at Mike for the way Billy, Derian, Darryl, Marty and Brenden had attacked him but he knew that they wouldnt have done it if Mike had known about it in advance. One thing he always loved about Mike was his ability to keep peace with everyone around him even if it cost him more than anyone ever realized.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Flashback Christmas Eve 1998
Bretts house in Dallas

Mike nervously glanced out the window waiting for the signal that Hatch promised that hed give when they got there. Looking over at where Brett was sleeping sprawled across the bed like a king he drew in a deep breath and then turned back to the window. Tonight was his escape he was leaving Brett and his abuse. Hed just started to leave when he saw the flickering of headlights. He opened the window and slipped out.
 

Darryl grabbed the bag that Mike tossed out while Derian helped him get out of the window himself. The three of them ran toward the truck at the end of the driveway unaware that Brett woke when he heard the window open. He saw Mike slide out the window. Silently, Brett grabbed the gun he kept in the nightstand on his side of the bed. Mike never went near it Brett had terrorized him with it enough to make him not even want to be close to the weapon.  

 Derian and Darryl led Mike through the yard toward the truck where the other guys were waiting on them. The truck was just a few yards ahead of them when they heard a gunshot. Derian immediately fell to his knees
holding his right shoulder.

Dammit, Mike, keep running. Let Eddie and Sevvy get you the fuck out of here! Darryl shouted as he tried to help Derian back to his feet.

Before Mike could make his feet move in any direction, he felt the cold steel of Bretts gun jutting against his neck. Mike walked numbly toward the house as Brett led him away from their teammates.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mike stood in the living room staring at the fifteen-foot tree that needed decorating. Billy walked into the room and stared in disbelief at the huge pine that stood before them.

Um, just how many squirrels lost their home for us to have a tree that fuckin big? Billy asked as he looked the tree up and down.

I dont even want to think about it. Mike said as he gave Billy as sideways glance. Right now, I dont even want to think about what a task its going to be to decorate the damn thing.
 
You mean you dont have someone to do that lurking around in this house? Billy teased.

Nope, I love to decorate the tree myself. Mike said with a child-like smile. Wanna help me?

Sure, where do you start? Billy asked as he then noticed the card board boxes strewn about the room labeled X-mas Decorations.

Theyd just strung the lights on the tree when the phone rang. Mike grabbed it before it went to the machine.

Hello. He said fighting back a giggle as he watched Billy holding the star for the top of the tree over his head.

Mike, uh, hi. Im glad I caught you at home. Brett stammered across the line. Please dont hang up on me this wont take too long.

Whatever it is, I dont want to hear it. Mike said as he started to hang up.

Im sorry Im sorry for every miserable thing Ive done to you. Brett said quicker than he wanted to just so he could get the words out before Mike hung up on him.

What did you just say? Mike asked as he sank down onto the couch. I mustve not heard you right.

I said Im sorry for everything Ive done to hurt you and make you hate me so. Brett answered his voice sounding very tearful. I wish I could take it all back and just be someone you could love because I loved you.

Why did you call me to tell me this? Mike asked, tears brimming in his eyes.

I sent you a letter a couple of weeks ago and you didnt respond, so I thought Id try calling you. Brett admitted softly. Listen, Ill let you get back to decorating your tree. Tell Billy Merry Christmas for me I hope he makes you very happy.

Merry Christmas to you, too. Mike whispered before he hung up the phone.

Mike stared at the phone in disbelief for a few more minutes. He couldnt believe that hed just spoken to Brett and there were no angry, hurtful words exchanged. No threats about his past; no promises to make him suffer for moving on with his life; all Brett did was give him a sincere-sounding apology.

Who was that, babe? Billy asked as he noticed the ghostly expression on Mikes face.

Brett he called to apologize for everything. Mike whispered. Billy, what exactly did you guys do to him?

Not as much as I mightve had Derian not said that what we did was enough for now. Billy admitted as he sat down next to Mike. I wanted him to suffer for everything hed done to you. I wanted him to know what it felt like to be humiliated and dominated. I wanted to see him bleed.

Oh, my God. Mike gasped as he backed away from Billy. How what made you do such a thing?

Every time I punched him all I could see in my mind was the shattered expression on your face that morning after he had you raped in our hotel room. Billy admitted. I wanted him to understand how you felt.

Did you rape him? Mike asked almost too horrified to know the answer to the question.

No, we didnt rape him. Billy answered. Bren suggested it, but Marty said that Brett wasnt worth the effort that getting it up would take. We just beat him up and left him handcuffed to his front door with his pants down around his ankles and a note describing what an abusive bastard he is taped to his dick.

I see. Mike whispered thoughtfully before getting up and leaving the room.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Brett shoved Mike into the house causing him to fall to his knees down the steps that led into the sunken living room. Mikes head was bowed as he fought to keep the tears that were threatening to fall from his eyes in check.

So, you thought I wouldnt know you were leaving? Brett yelled angrily as he slapped Mike hard across the face. You honestly thought I would let you go. Thats never going to happen. Youre mine. Dont ever think of trying to do something this stupid again.

Mike rubbed his cheek as he felt blood trickling from his lip. Brett then tangled his fingers in Mikes hair and drug him to his feet. When they got to the bathroom, Brett ordered Mike to clean himself up and to get ready for bed. Silently, Mike did as he was told. When he walked into the bedroom, Brett shoved him face down on the bed. He entered Mike roughly eliciting a cry of shock and pain from him not even allowing his body a chance to relax from the unwanted penetration.

Shut the fuck up! Brett shouted as he smacked Mikes right hip. If you hadnt decided to try to run away I wouldnt be forced to do this to you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Brett sat quietly staring at the fire blazing in the fireplace. He did his best to apologize to Mike he was certain that Mike didnt believe him, but at least hed tried. He was startled out of his reverie when there was knock on the door. A couple of his teammates Steve and Chris had stopped by to see how he was doing. He was still thankful that they were the ones whod found him the day that Billy and the others had attacked him. Being found by the two who had been his accomplices before was somewhat of a blessing they knew that if Billy found out about their involvement theyd suffer a similar fate.

Man, I dont know what to make of this. Chris said as he looked around. If I didnt know any better, Id swear you were lovesick or something, man.

Shut up I dont want to talk about it. Brett replied sullenly. Theres nothing more to say about it.

I take it that apologizing to Mike didnt go as well as you were hoping. Steve said as he took a seat across from Brett. Man, you cant erase over five years of hurt by just saying that youre sorry.

Didnt I just say I dont want to talk about it? Brett asked not really wanting an answer. I thought you were coming over so we could go out to eat and maybe have a good time on a night off.

Sure thing if you feel up to it, why not. Chris said as he got up to go. You got any place in mind?

Nope, I dont really care where we go or what we do. I just cant sit in this house all night. Brett replied.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When he was finished, Brett rolled off of Mike and went to get himself a drink. Quietly, Mike slipped out of bed and went into the bathroom and did the best to clean himself up again. He heard the crashing sound of
a bottle being hurled against the stone around the fireplace and knew that the night had only just started.

Michael, get your sorry ass in here NOW! Brett snarled as he played with his pistol.

Mike walked awkwardly into the living room the pain he was in was minimal to what he was going to endure, but it was pain nonetheless. Brett sat in his chair pointing the gun directly at Mike.

I could kill you right now. Brett stated softly. I could shoot you and sit here and watch you bleed.

BrettMike whispered his voice wavering with fear.

Before I decide if I want to do that, Michael, I want you to tell me how good you had to be to Derian and Darryl to get them to try to help you leave me. Brett asked before taking a swig from the bottle of Jack that sat on the table next to him. Did you treat them good, baby? Did you let them fill that pretty ass of yours? What about your mouth did you suck em really good?

No, I didnt do anything to them, Brett. Mike whispered as he nervously looked at the floor. I would never cheat on you.

No, but you would fuck fifteen guys in three weeks. Brett said as he pointed the gun directly at Mikes chest. Why would taking the two of them be anything you wouldnt do?

Because I promised you I wouldnt cheat on you. Mike cried as shivered in fear.

Brett then got up from his chair and walked over to where Mike was standing. Without being told, Mike got down on his knees in front of Brett. 

 Get up! Brett ordered as he tugged Mikes hair roughly. Michael, I think you need to learn some self-control. Youre so beautiful its such a damn pity that youre nothing more than a easy, dirty whore.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mike returned to the living room almost two hours later to find that Billy hadnt touched the tree while he was gone. He wanted to say he was mad about what his lover and teammates had done but he wasnt. Their hearts were in the right place even if he didnt agree with their method. He looked down at the couch and saw Billy lying on his side soundly sleeping. He spread a light blanket over him and kissed his forehead softly before he started working on the tree again.

Wow, I cant believe I missed all the fun. Billy said as he wrapped his arms around Mikes waist. Why didnt you wake me?

Because you looked so quiet and peaceful that I just couldnt bring myself to disturb you. Mike answered as he leaned his head back against Billys shoulder. So, what do you think of the tree?

Its just like you absolutely perfect. Billy whispered as he kissed Mikes neck softly.

So, I take it you want to go upstairs. Mike replied as he leaned his head over as Billy nipped at his neck gently.

Not necessarily. Billy replied. Id be just as comfortable with that blanket on the floor here under your tree.

CHAPTER 17

Oh how you sparkleand oh how you shinethat flush on your cheeks is more than the wineand he must do something that I didnt dowhatever hes doing it looks good on you

If I wanted to here shit like this, Id have gone out more when I was in Dallas. Brett groused as he listened to the song that was played by the band. I hate this song.

I think it hits too close to home for you. Chris said before draining the contents of his Coors Light bottle. Especially since we know that Mike wont be coming in to visit you for Christmas like he did last year.

Brett gave his teammate a dirty look and then turned away. He continued to sulk while they stayed around the bar. He couldnt help but think about the conversation hed had with Mike earlier. He didnt blame Mike for not wanting to talk to him if he were Mike theres no way hed even try to accept an apology from someone whod done nothing but hurt him.

He mustve stolen some stars from the skyand gave them to you to wear in your eyesI had my chances, but I set you freeand now I wonder why I couldnt see
 
Mikes hands roamed slowly over Billys back and then rested on his ass as they lay wrapped up together beneath the towering tree.

What are you thinking about? Billy asked softly as he looked down at Mike.

That I mustve been awful good this year, Mike whispered as he pressed his lips to Billys.

Good doesnt even begin to describe you. Billy teased before his mouth latched on to a sensitive spot on Mikes neck. I prefer words like amazing and beautiful and

Billys words were lost in Mikes mouth as Mike guided his lovers mouth to his own. A smile broadened in Billys mind as he felt Mike eagerly exploring his mouth with his tongue and his hands running over his body without shame or shyness. Billy slid off of Mike and stretched out on his stomach instinctively knowing what Mike was thinking as his hands groped and kneaded the flesh of his ass. Mike moved so that he was lying on top of Billy. He allowed his tongue to lick a fiery trail down Billys spine not stopping until he was right above the cleft of his ass. Billy moaned softly as he squirmed beneath Mikes attentions.

Oh, God, what are you doing to me? Billy asked breathlessly as he felt Mike spreading him apart.

He was panting and starting to sweat when he felt the tip of Mikes tongue dart suggestively over his opening. Billy moaned when Mikes finger slowly started to circle where his tongue had just been.

Are you ready? Mike asked as he moved so he could slide into Billy.

Billy nodded his head as he waited for the pleasurable pain to begin. Mike slowly slid in and worked slowly until he was fully sunk inside of Billy. It didnt take either of them long to climax they then returned to the comfort of being wrapped in each others arms.

Ive wasted a lot of years not seeing the real youtonight your beautys shining throughand I never to the time to let you knowso before he leads you awayplease let me say

Brett down another shot of Cuervo relishing the burning sensation as it slid down his throat. Steve and Chris just looked at him as he had the bartender line them up so he could down them. He wanted to be numb. The last few days of physical pain made him realize just how devastating he mustve been to Mike all the time that they were together. It just killed him to think that Mike might still be his if hed only cared for him like he shouldve.

You look so good in loveyou want him, thats easy to seeyou look so good in loveI wish you still wanted me.

CHAPTER 18

            Five fuckin thirty on Christmas Eve, Billy muttered under his breath as he stood in the line to pay for the last minute shopping hed done.

            Last minute was his usual way of shopping it didnt matter that the store would be over-crowded and the prices would seem five times as high for an item he shouldve purchased when he first saw it a month ago. Yet, here he stood waiting to pay for the presents hed selected for Mike all except for the lone gift that hed bought a week ago. Finally getting out of the store and back home was all he wanted.

            Mike was finishing putting gifts under the tree. Billy walked in and headed straight into the living room and put all the gifts hed bought under the tree thankful for the Girl Scout troop that were wrapping gifts for a small fee to raise money for a field trip to a hockey game. Billy made a call to get the fifteen seats theyd need so the money they raised could go for hot dogs and souvenirs in exchange for their help in getting him home with presents ready to put under the tree.

            So, do you think Im crazy now for shopping in October and early November for Christmas? Mike asked with a grin as he looked at Billys frazzled _expression.

            No, I dont think youre crazy, but I know myself and even if I promise to get my shopping done early Ill still be in a store at 5:30 on Christmas Eve it never fails. Billy admitted as he leaned down to kiss Mike who was sitting on the floor playing with the dogs.

            Mike insisted that they each open one gift before they went to bed and then theyd open the rest the next morning. He quickly pulled out the one he wanted Billy to open and then sat back and waited while Billy looked through the stack of gifts hed just put under the tree. He finally pulled one out of the stack and handed it to Mike now if he could only remember what was hidden behind the bright silver wrapping paper. Mike held the package on his lap for a few anxious moments while he watched Billy savagely ripping through the paper on the present he gave him. When Billy finally removed the present from the oversized package that Mike had wrapped it in, he was kind of stunned; from a sterling silver keychain shaped like a hockey stick dangled the key to Mikes house.

            Does this mean I what I think it does? Billy asked as he held the key in the palm of his hand.

            It means that I want you to move in here with me. Mike whispered with a smile. Im tired of your place or my place I want to call somewhere our place.

Love so cruelyeah, thats what I got from youtell me what in the world could I dobut leave after all youve done to menow its easy to say Im over you

            Bretts flight was delayed do to the weather. Hed lied to Dave Lewis such a gullible guy that new coach was when he said that he had a family emergency and might not be back in town for the next game. When they finally left for Dallas, he knew that hed make it to Mikes house sometime on Christmas day. In his carry-on bag was the beautifully wrapped sweater that hed bought a little over a week earlier. Something that Steve and Chris had said to him when they were out drinking stuck with him for him to ever get Mike to understand that he was truly sorry theyd have to see each other face to face again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Christmas 1998

            Good morning, baby. Brett said with an unbelievably chipper tone. Would you like to open presents before breakfast or after?

            Whatever you want, Brett, Mike replied sadly as he struggled against the metal of the handcuffs that kept him bound to the bed.

            Brett then proceeded to lovingly wash Mike from head to toe before he released him to get dressed. Mike winced in pain as Brett drew the wash cloth over his bloody and bruised lips and over the bruises that covered his chest, stomach and legs. Brett finally took the cuffs off of him when he wanted him to roll over so he could wash his back. Mike bit his already sore lower lip when Brett slid the cloth between his bruised ass cheeks.

            Hmmm, take it easy. Ill be finished in a second. Brett whispered softly. I wish you wouldnt make me hurt you so. I love you so much and I dont want to hurt you like this.

            I know. Mike whispered softly. Im sorry I disappointed you, Brett. Itll never happen again.

            I know, baby, I know. Brett whispered as he leaned forward to place a gentle kiss on the back of Mikes left shoulder. Why dont you get dressed while I go make us some breakfast?

            Alright, Mike agreed more because fighting would get him nowhere rather than that he was hungry.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cause baby I cried a little too hard a little too longwhat I thought was right was way too wrong and too far goneI cant bring back the lovethere just aint enoughavailable, impossible, unsaveable love

            Well, are you gonna stare at the damn paper all night or are you going to open it? Billy asked impatiently as Mike turned the present over and over in his hands.

            There, are you happy? Mike asked with a laugh as he tore into the paper delicately.

            Cmon, babe, you gotta be more curious to know whats in it than that. Billy said as he watched Mike slowly open the paper.

            It took all the willpower he possessed not to reach over and finish tearing the damn thing open. When Mike finally made his way to the white box beneath the wrapping paper, he took equal care in opening the strips of tape that held the lid on. He finally removed the lid and pushed aside the tissue paper to reveal something hed never wouldve guess Billy would buy him a pair of emerald green silk pajamas.

            Oh, wow theyre beautiful. Mike whispered as he took them from the box. I guess you want me to wear them tonight, huh?

            Well, maybe for a little while. Billy replied with a wink. I actually bought them because I thought theyd make a beautiful decoration for the bedroom floor.

Here you come trying to make up for what youve doneits too late to say youre sorrynow its your turnwell you cant cross a bridge that youve burnedyoure on your ownwhen will you learn

            It was a short time after dawn on Christmas morning when Bretts taxi pulled up in front of Mikes house. He stood in front of the imposing door for the longest time wanting to knock, but afraid of the damn thing being slammed in his face. Before he could decide what he was going to do, the door swung open and he stood face to face with Mike. Impulse took over and Brett grabbed the back of Mikes head and pulled the other mans lips to his own for a scorching kiss.

            What the hell are you doing? Mike asked in shock and horror as he pushed Brett away from him.

            I just wanted to bring you this and to see if youd at least let me talk to you for a minute. Brett replied anxiously shifting from one foot to the other. Please open it I picked it out myself.

            No thanks. Mike replied as he tried to close the door. I dont want anything from you other than to be left alone.

            Babe, whats the matter? Billy asked as he walked up to the door. What the fuck are you doing here?

            I just stopped by to give Mike a present I got him it was a, uh, mistake. Brett murmured as he cowered away from the door.

            Mike collapsed against the door after he closed it. Billy looked at him worriedly as Mike trailed a couple of fingers over his swollen lips.

            I cant believe that he just showed up here. Mike whispered. What was he thinking?

            He didnt hurt you, did he? Billy asked as he looked at the far away _expression in Mikes eyes.

            No, all he did was kiss me. Mike replied.

Theres someone out there for me boywho thinks Im beautifulIve got to goBaby Ive triedIve triedBaby Ive tried.

CHAPTER 19

            Brett paced back and forth in his hotel room not really giving a damn if he wore out the carpet or not as he tried to think of a way to get Mike to at least listen to him. He took another long drink from the bottle in his hand letting the golden liquid burn every inch of his throat. His head was pounding but that pain paled in comparison to the burn of rejection that was finally seeping through. His worst fear had been realized Mike found someone who was capable of loving him in spite of his past; in spite of how terrified he was of being with another person like Brett; and someone who made him believe in himself again. Damn, he couldnt find anyone else on the face of Gods green earth at the moment that he hated more than Bill Guerin.

            On the table next to the bed sat the still wrapped gift that hed tried to give to Mike. He thought about just setting it on the doorstep when he left, but decided against it. His mind couldnt help but replay how beautiful Mike looked when he opened the door his hair still in disarray from getting out of bed; the emerald pajama pants he wore clinging to his hipbones; the peaceful _expression in his eyes. That was why he kissed him; that and the fact that he had to know if his mouth still tasted sweet like the cinnamon-flavored gum that he always liked to chew.

Theres no more waitingholding out for loveyou are my Godsendthat I have forever been dreaming ofmy angel from above

            Billy sat on the couch watching as Mike opened the last gift he had for him. He could tell that there were a few of the things hed bought that were eventually going to turn up missing without an explanation and he didnt mind. However, what was in the tiny box that Mike now held gently in his hand, he hoped wouldnt be one of them. When Mike opened the box and pulled out the gold ID bracelet that Billy had bought for him. He looked at the top of it it simply was engraved Mike but the messaged inscribed on the back of the nameplate was what made it special; MTM you are my heart WRG.

            Well, dont you look proud of yourself? Mike teased as he looked up at Billy.

            You do like it, dont you? Billy asked softly.

            I love it. Mike said as he held his arm out so Billy could fasten the bracelet around his arm.

Heaven knowsIm head over heels and it showsIve played every field I supposedbut theres something about youwhen youre aroundbaby, I have foundI get lost in you

            Brett picked the gift up and hurled it across the room smashing a lamp in the process. So, what, they can fuckin well charge it to my damn card when I leave, he groused before flopping on his bed. In his mind, he could see Mike and Billy together. Not that he was trying to imagine them together actually he was hoping that hed downed enough Cuervo to pass out and be oblivious about everything in the world until his wake up call the next morning. No such luck.

What is this feelingIve never known beforethat I should touch youswearing to surrender ever morethats what I came here for

            Lying next Billy on the bed, Mike thought about how the day had been. Absently, his fingers trailed over the bracelet that circled his right wrist.

            Babe, are you okay? Billy asked softly.

            Yeah, Im fine. Mike answered with an uncertainty to his voice. I just wish I knew what made Brett think he could just show up here and Id let him in. Theres something that doesnt make any sense. Brett usually makes more sense than this.

            If you say so, Billy commented as he leaned over to kiss Mike good night. You know what would make a lot of sense to me right now?

            No, what do you have in mind? Mike asked as he rolled over to face Billy.

Heaven knowsIm head over heels and it showsIve played every field I supposebut theres something about youwhen youre aroundbaby I have foundI get lost in a wonderful dazelost in your wonderful ways

            Brett expected it to be much more difficult to get into Mikes house than it actually was. He got in and crept upstairs to the bedroom completely undetected. Mikes hands trailed over Billys back gripping and squeezing the muscular flesh. The sight of it infuriated Brett more and more as he stood just inside the room. So what if he was trespassing it wasnt like they even knew he was watching them. It wouldve driven him over the edge of an insane rage if he hadnt caught sight of Mikes face. He could imagine himself in Billys place make Mike moan his name softly as they made love.

            But I was never like that, Brett said to himself as he watched Billy slowly grinding against Mike. I had to be in charge there was no way Id let you think you were my equal.

            Brett had just turned to leave when he heard Billy cry out as he climaxed. He stood there for a few more moments watching as Mike whispered in Billys ear before they drifted off to sleep. He crept closer to the bed. He stood next to where Mike was soundly sleeping a smile washed across his face briefly as he watched Mike sprawl out on his stomach. He couldnt help himself when he reached down to trail his hand over Mikes ass. A lascivious grin curled Bretts lips when Mike sighed contentedly, stretched and slipped into a deeper sleep.

            Licking his lips like a ravenous wolf, Brett continued to stroke his hand over Mikes bare body. His hand had just come to rest at the spot where Mikes thighs met his ass when Billys hand gripped his wrist tightly.

            Get the fuck out and leave quietly. Billy growled as he jerked Bretts hand away from Mike.

            And what if I dont? Brett taunted as he jerked his hand free of Billys grip.

            What you got on your front steps wont be a drop in the bucket to what I will do to you. Billy threatened.

            Yeah, but you dont have your teammates here to help you now. Brett said as he backed away from the bed. Its just you and me and him.