Yeah, Scott's suicide was a shock. Possibly even more shocking than
his actions after breaking into the house a few hours before he killed himself. The photos were way too graphic and the Stamford Police Department issued a written apology to me later. I sold the townhouse and the house in Detroit. Rick volunteered to get rid of most of the other things and I told him to split the money three ways - I got a third, a third went to their parents and the other third was to be split between him and their sister.
I moved what little I didn't sell, mostly my clothes, to Paul's house in New Hampshire. I was ready to move on with my life and the easiest way to do that was to be with him. I also went back to work two weeks after Scott's death. Everyone was supportive, even Stephanie, which kind of surprised me.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - -- - - -- -
July 27, 2002
For a change he didn't have house shows this weekend, and I decided that I was going to make Paul's birthday exceptionally special. He showed up at home around noon on his birthday. I had left a trail of brightly colored sticky notes throughout the house and led him on a scavenger hunt to find his presents. On the monitor of his computer I taped his birthday card. There was a note inside it telling him to go to the kitchen. A slice of his favorite flavor of cake was on the counter. Under the plate was the next note that sent him to the pool house to find that I had taped the receipt from having one of his machines repaired. He looked around the weight room to see if there were any other changes and noticed the next note on the mirror above the free weights.
After finding one of the notes that sent him to the kitchen again, he found the final one taped to an empty can of whipped cream. It simply said "You, Me, Naked, Whipped Cream...any ideas?" I giggled nervously as I heard him running up the stairs two at a time. He was naked by the time he got there. I was lying on the bed, doing my best to keep my whipped cream bikini (ala Varsity Blues) on.
"I see you got the idea." I said softly as he walked in.
"Uh, yeah." He said as he looked at me in disbelief. "Exactly what are you wearing?"
"Oh, this. It's part of the spring collection from a very famous designer." I said with a smile. "I'm sure you've heard of Reddi Whip."
"So, it tastes as good as it looks, huh?" He said as he swiped a finger across my left breast. "Yeah, it does. How long did it take you to get that on?"
"I started putting it on as soon as I saw you go into the pool house." I answered. "And if you don't mind, please help me out of it cause it's starting to melt."
"It's my birthday and I'm gonna take my time unwrapping my present."
He said with a grin.
And he did take his time. He licked every single drop of whipped cream off of my left breast before he did my right one and then he slowed down even more before he started with what I had below my waist. I was squirming around on the bed as the cream melted and ran down toward the towel I had under me on the bed. I squirmed even more as he slowly took the cream by the finger-full and spread it all over my crotch.
By the time he finished, I was so insane with lust I could barely catch my breath. Feeling his lips and tongue and teeth as he teased me was incredible, but I wanted more. I wanted to feel him inside me. We hadn't even tried to have sex since the night that Scott killed himself and I wanted Paul so bad.
"Babe, I know it's your birthday, but I need..." I whispered.
"I know, baby, I know and I'm just about to give it to you." He said.
We spent most of the afternoon making love until we couldn't move. It was about 6:00 when I woke and realized that he and I had to get up and showered
if we were going to meet his parents for dinner at 8:00. I untangled myself from the sheets and went on in to take a shower. I had just turned the water off when Paul opened the door to the shower. In his hand was a videotape. I intentionally forgot to mention to him that I was taping our romp.
"What's the matter?" I asked.
"You taped us." He said. "I can't believe you taped us."
"Why?" I asked. "I thought you'd want to remember how you celebrated
"So, this is part of my birthday present?" He said with a grin. "I must give you an A for effort and creativity."
"Good, now you need to get your shower so we can meet your folks for
dinner." I said. "Oh, and for the record, I was also planning on taping something else on that tape later."
"Yeah, what would that be?" He asked as he turned the water on.
"Your birthday spanking." I answered with a nervous giggle.
-- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Life was finally getting on an even keel for me. I had a good love life and was pretty much ready to go back to work. When I returned to the WWF, however, my position was going to be drastically different. I was going to learn to wrestle instead of just flaunting myself at ringside.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
August 5, 2002
Site of Raw is War
We arrived in Tampa later than we were planning to. Our flight was
delayed and we walked into the arena with just enough time to dump our stuff
off in a locker room and get to the creative meeting. Everyone is kinda surprised to see me and I like that. We were flipping through the pages of the script and noticed that this show was going to be heavy on sex and not much else.
"Who wrote this crap?" Paul asked immediately as he flipped through it. "I mean do we really need to see a Divas battle royal?"
"Did you read the list of participants?" Stephanie immediately asked. "Kari's getting her first shot in the ring tonight."
"I'm doing what?" I asked. "I'm not a wrestler."
"Neither am I, but it's going to be great." Steph answered.
"Sounds to me like we have the potential to have the ring filled with naked women." Debra said. "And since my name is on the list of participants, I for one want to make it known that I don't exactly like this idea."
"Neither do I." Trish stated as we continued to discuss the match. "What exactly is the point behind it?"
"It is to name the number one contender for the Women's Title." Paul Heyman answered. "And I think Stephanie and I have come up with a brilliant
match. However, any of you that don't chose to participate will not be on the show tonight."
"Fine with me." Debra said. "I have better things to do with my time."
The meeting finished and the fifteen or so of us girls who were still going to participate in the match made our way to the ring to do a run-through. I was trying to figure my easiest way to survive the match in one piece. Steph came up beside me and told me that it was supposed to look like the world's biggest catfight and to just ham it up. I rolled my eyes at her and then sighed.
"One question, Steph." I said. "How do you win this match?"
"Be the last one in the ring after everyone else has been knocked over the top rope." She answered.
"Okay." I whispered to myself.
We worked through the match and I found myself agreeing with some of
the girls that were bitching about how Steph had written it so she and I would be in the ring as the final two. I admit I had no clue what I was doing and thought it would be better received if someone like Jazz, Lita or Trish won, but I'm not on the writing team.
"Okay, Kari, charge at me." Stephanie ordered. "You're gonna win this one."
I did what she said and some of the other girls started laughing. It was a completely unbelievable scenario. I admit I'm too small to be considered a serious competitor. I mean I'm 5'1" and probably weigh 105 lbs soaking wet.
Steph's more like 5' 10" and heavier (I don't know exactly how much heavier).
We all went to the back and Stephanie said that she was going to have us add some more spice to the match, but otherwise it could go as planned. She wanted some of us pretty much stripped down to our underwear (or less if we could get away with it) and to have some of us rolling around on the floor.
I walked back into the locker room and found Paul sitting there with Shawn reading over some of their scenes. With the D-X reformation a few months ago, there seemed to be more headaches than good spots for a lot of
the company. Shawn was not going to ever be capable of being more than a
mouthpiece and Billy and Chuck just didn't have the same type of chemistry
that Billy had with Brian. Sean was back in the NWO and couldn't be a D-Generate. I sure as hell wasn't Chyna - and for some reason the funny stunts that the group used to pull off weren't so funny anymore. Although the women in the audience still went wild over the suggestion that Triple H and HBK face the APA in a strip poker match.
"Hi, baby." I said as I walked over to him. "You look like something's not the way you were hoping it would be."
"Yeah, D-X isn't what it we were hoping it would be." Shawn volunteered. "I think it's time to disband it for good."
"If we had some decent material to work with it would help." Paul offered. "But the shit we used to do won't work anymore. I can't ride a tank to another fed's arena - we're the only fed left. And I don't think I have my "SUCK THE COOK" apron anymore, either."
"Well, if it's any consolation, I'd still pay to see the two of you play strip poker in the middle of the ring." I said with a laugh. "At least it would be a chance for equal opportunity nakedness."
"Equal opportunity nakedness - sound like Steph wants a ring full of naked women for that battle royal." Paul said with a grin. "Great, let everything hang out on live TV when nothing can be done about it."
"Hey, if it's naked women, it can't be all that bad." Shawn said. "Who's supposed to win the battle royal, anyway?"
"Wouldn't believe me if I told ya." I said.
"Why, has Steph scheduled herself to win?" Paul asked.
"Nope, she's decided that I should win." I said. "I'm going to get a shower before getting ready."
The show was kind of strange. I stayed backstage during all the D-X segments because of my match. When it was time for the battle royal, I was the fifth to be introduced so I stood in the line where they had us all herded together. Trish was talking with the production guy that was checking us off the list as we walked up when I got there.
Well, the bell rang and the match was underway. Jazz was attacked first and was gotten over the top before anything else could happen. Lita and Trish ended up taking each other out and battled their way back to the dressing room. Stacy attacked Torrie and the two of them battled until Ivory helped get Stacy out of the ring. Ivory then knocked Torrie over the top rope. Terri jumped out of the ring rather than being put out by force. Stephanie attacked me when I went after Ivory. I turned and tore her shirt open. Damn, I had no idea how much force she really used when she slapped someone across the face - and I'm starting to regret that I learned it.
Ivory snuck up behind her and ended up getting tossed from the ring. It was down to Stephanie and myself. At least I have an athletic background, even if I haven't competed since I was in college. Steph charged at me and I followed her lead and made another grab for her shirt. She pulled mine off fairly easily and I tore her shirt even further. I guess I was supposed to play as if I were embarrassed to be just in my bra and shorts in the ring. Steph then shoved me down on the canvas. We were rolling around, slapping, scratching and pulling hair. As it was scripted, I attempted to crawl out of the ring to get a break from Stephanie's slaps. She grabbed me by the waistband of my shorts and as I fell out of the ring and to the floor, they were stripped off of me. Steph stood as if she'd won the match. Lillian announced that the match would continue since I had gone under the ropes and not over the top rope. Steph was arguing and whining about the rules of the match and I snuck up behind her and shoved her over the top rope.
The rest of D-X came down to the ring to celebrate the potential of having another Championship in the faction. After I was hoisted up on Billy and Paul's shoulders, Shawn grabbed the mic and made an announcement to the crowd.
"Oh, come on, Princess, don't go away angry." He said with a smug look. "I'm sure that we can find something for you to do with D-X."
"Yeah, she can always SUCK IT." Billy said as he and Chuck did the infamous crotch chops for the crowd.
After they sat me back down on the mat, Paul wrapped a large towel around me. The show ended with us walking up the ramp and Billy and Shawn trying to raise the back of the towel enough to show off my DX green thong panties.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Okay, so I'm one of those people who don't believe in corporate nepotism. And I will admit that Shane does a good job with his work for the WWF, but as a writer, Stephanie is about as creative and effective as limp spaghetti. She does have her place on the programs - she's absolutely wonderful at annoying the hell out of the crowd, but please give us something to work with.
Anyway, things were almost too quiet at home. I guess I'd become accustomed to being treated like I was less than human or something and having Paul treat me like I was something special was foreign to me. It was kind of strange, but I found myself questioning how much I really loved him - almost to the point of moving out. However, hormones affect people in different ways. Allow me to explain...
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I've written this letter about as many times as I'd packed and unpacked my bags and it still didn't set well with me. How, after all we'd been through, could I walk away from him? Paul was sitting on the deck playing with the dogs. He bought them for me as a birthday present last month. I looked at the pile of crumpled paper at my feet and decided that it would be better if I just went outside and talked to him. I had something to tell him and it was eating at me. There was no way I was going to keep this secret from him again.
"Hi, babe." Paul said when he looked around. "It's about time you came out here and joined us."
"Yeah, I figured the sunshine might do me some good." I said. "Paul, we need to talk."
"Uh-oh, I'm not sure I like that tone." He said with a grin. "What's up?"
"Remember when I told you I'd never keep secrets from you?" I nervously asked. "And how I promised that no matter how much I was afraid of something I'd let you face it with me?"
"Yeah, baby." He said as he pulled me onto his lap. "What's the matter, babe, you're scaring me."
"Paul, I'm waiting for the official word from my doctor, but I think I'm pregnant." I said.
"Are you serious?" He asked with a beaming smile. "Oh, honey, that's incredible."
"You're not mad about it?" I asked.
"Why would I be mad?" He asked. "Unless it's not mine."
"I haven't been with anyone else lately, so that's not even a necessary question." I answered. "I just wanted to be sure that the time is good for you to become a dad, that's all."
"Yeah, I'm ready to be a dad." He said. "The job is set, the house is bought, and the mom has been picked out. I think I got all the pre-dad list covered except for one thing."
"And that would be?" I asked quietly.
"Wedding bands." He laughed. "So, since we'll be in Vegas for Smack Down next week, what do you say we make this legal?"
"Sounds like a plan to me." I answered.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I still can't believe how easily our wedding came together. However, it did represent a whole range of professional issues that we hadn't thought about before we jumped into it. Some of the things that happened as "typical DX jokes" were no longer as funny because everyone knew that Paul and I were married. It also limited the amount of time I could continue to work on camera without risking my health and the health of our child.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Las Vegas, Nevada
Little White Wedding Chapel
Well, as I stood in the tiny foyer of the chapel, all I could think of was getting the ceremony over with. When I went to the doctor, he confirmed that I nine weeks along. So, now a week later we stood in Vegas waiting our turn to get married. It looked like Vince was holding a staff meeting more than a wedding because we told everyone to just wear whatever they were planning on wearing for their various flights for the upcoming days we all had off. The most noticeable exceptions to this were Paul, Shawn, Debra and myself. I couldn't face wearing a white dress for the ceremony - it just didn't feel right to me being that it was my second marriage and I was already pregnant - so I wore a soft emerald green dress that came down almost to my ankles.
Paul's mom and dad flew out for the ceremony. I was surprised when he showed up, but was glad to see Rick when he walked through the door and took a seat next to Kevin. The ceremony went off with only one minor hitch - as a joke; Shawn had given the ring to Bradshaw. Paul started looking nervous until the ring was returned. A few of us went back to the hotel for lunch. We had just started to sit down when I noticed that Rick and Paul were talking. I snuck up behind Paul so I could hear the conversation.
"Paul, I just wanted to congratulate you." Rick offered as he stuck his hand out to shake Paul's. "Kari really loves you - probably always has. Just make her happy."
"I plan on it, Rick." Paul answered as he shook hands. "I love her more than anything and all I want is for us to be happy together."
"Good." Rick said. "As much as I loved my brother, he was so wrong for everything he put her through. I hope that baby is healthy and the two of you have many more."
"Well, we'll have to see how big this one is before I commit to anymore." I said. "Ricky, I'm so glad you made it."
"Well, I couldn't let you go from our family without a proper send-off." He said. "Mom found this in one of your old boxes that Dad was keeping in the attic and wanted you to have it - they still want you to keep in touch and they still consider you family."
"Okay, I'll try to do better to keep in contact with them than I have over the last few months." I answered. "Are you gonna have lunch with us?"
"You don't have to ask me twice." He said.
Paul and I were finally settled back into our room when I decided to open the package that Rick had given me earlier in the afternoon. After I tore into the shiny silver paper and opened the box, my eyes were filled with tears. Inside a beautiful sterling silver frame was a picture that had taken in New Orleans. I'd taken it out of the original frame I had it in years ago and packed it in a box where it was forgotten about. With shaking hands, I held it out for Paul to look at it.
"Is that what Rick gave you?" He asked as he took it from me.
"Yeah, do you remember that picture?" I asked.
"Uh-huh, we'd just walked out of that psychic's shop in the French Quarter." He said. "I can't remember what she told us."
"I do." I said. "She said that a secret would tear us apart and send us each down a different road. One would have sunshine and one would have rain until we met again and realized that we needed the time to grow like a rose - needing both sunshine and rain to become beautiful."
"I think we need to go see that psychic again." He said with a grin. "She was right."
"Yeah, she was." I answered.
"Maybe she can tell us what we're gonna have." He said as he rubbed his hand across my belly.
"I'd rather be surprised." I said. "But visiting the psychic again would be fun."
I never used to put any faith in things like psychics, but when I opened that picture and remembered the words that one told us in New Orleans, everything seemed to make perfect sense. After leaving Las Vegas for home, we decided to stop off in New Orleans and found her shop again.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
October 26, 2002
New Orleans, LA
It was raining when our flight landed in New Orleans - hard. We were both completely drenched by the time we got into our rental car. We went straight to the French Quarter to see if we could find the shop. Finally, we located it again - still in a dark apartment above a tattoo shop. I nervously knocked on the door after we climbed the slippery, narrow stairs up to the apartment. The old Creole woman opened the door and waved us in. She motioned for us to take seats at her table while she got us each a cup of tea to warm up.
"So, I see the roads that the two of you took after leaving here wound their way to an intersection." She said from the kitchen. "I guess you didn't expect me to remember you, did you?"
"Not really." Paul replied first. "I mean it's been almost eight years."
"Yeah, I know, that's how it always is." She said as she joined us. "So, how far along are you, missy."
"Nine weeks." I said.
"I knew last time as well, but I knew you were not going to tell him so I didn't say anything." Madame Lautrec said. "I think you appreciate your relationship much more by learning things on your own, no?"
"Yes, ma'am." I whispered.
"Well, I hope that since you've learned your lesson, you like the color pink." She said with a grin. "That's all I'm going to say about the child."
"A girl?" Paul asked. "Are you sure it's a girl?"
"Of course." She said. "Child, raise your dress. Okay, put your left hand here and your right one here. Do you feel the way the baby moves toward your hands? All daughters will move toward their father's hands like that. It's nature."
"Oh, my God!" Paul exclaimed. "Kari, can you feel this?"
"Yeah, baby, I can feel it." I answered.
"The boys and another girl will come later." The old woman said. "They'll come by themselves each time. And then there will be four children to play with your dogs and to light your lives."
We left her shop for our hotel a short time later. The driving rain didn't seem to bother us near as much as it had before the time we spent with the old psychic. We didn't leave our room until the next morning when we were scheduled to fly home to continue with our lives and our soon to be growing family. Finally, I knew what a real family felt like - both at home and at work.
Well, after I turned this over to the publisher, they decided that they would hold its release until after the baby was born. Emily Rose Levesque entered our lives on June 5, 2003. I doubt there is a more proud father on the entire face of the earth than Paul. He carries her pictures everywhere - and our video camera no longer records our racy romps, as it has become a way of documenting our daughter's every move. I don't blame him. She is a little, living miracle that I appreciate more and more everyday. We are planning on waiting a year or so before we start working on getting the boys or another girl here. But you never know...
I went back to work after Emily was born. Vince decided that since we had good chemistry in the reorganized D-X, Shawn and I would make a good hosting team for Excess after Terri was released and Coach refused to work with another host. I am even more active in the company now and have moved into a role on the writing team - specializing in the women's division - and I find myself enjoying the life in general. And while I doubt we'll ever get an Emmy or a Cable ACE award for Raw or Smack Down, I'm proud of the business I'm in. Even if I still think title belts are made of fool's gold - by getting the right groom this time; I've learned the truth about wedding bands.