Why did I stay with Scott as long as I did? Im still not sure that I have a good answer to that question. Was it because I was afraid of him? Sure, thats logical. Was it because I was not ready to be alone again? Maybe. However, I have a better theory that Id like to share with you.
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January 25, 1995
Atlanta, Georgia
Karis Apartment
I nervously pace around my apartment waiting for my friend Alex to show up. She ran down the street to Eckerds to get an EPT kit for me. I now feel ashamed all over again for sleeping with Paul a few weeks ago. Hes been gone ever since. We talk on the phone daily and Im supposed to fly out to spend the weekend with him on Friday. Did I mention its raining outside? I only tell you this cause its kind of a metaphor for my mood.
Finally, Alexs tiny Toyota pulls up in front of my door. She races in and hands me the small box.
"Go, now." She orders. "And if you ever send me out in a monsoon for this kind of thing again I will kill you."
"Okay, Im going." I reply. "Alex, you know I love you dont you? By the way, I made some lemon blueberry muffins while you were gone. Help yourself."
Alex Guerrero has been my best friend for years. She moved to Atlanta about four months after I did and went to work for a private school as a physical education instructor.
I paced back and forth in the bathroom as I waited for the result to come up on the test strip. It did. A plus. Oh, boy, how am I going to break this to Paul? He finally feels like hes gonna get somewhere in his career and I have a major bombshell to drop on him. I feel dizzy and I sit down on the counter the image of the little blue plus sign dancing in my head. A few more minutes pass and Alex comes to knock on the door.
"Hey, Kari, you okay in there?" She asked nervously.
"Um, yeah, Im fine." I say as open the door.
"So, what did it say?" She asks.
"I am." I answer as I move to lie on my bed. "What am I gonna tell Paul?"
"Paul, the hot, blonde wrestler that you used to work with?" She asked, stunned.
"Yeah, that Paul." I reply. "I have no idea how Im gonna break this to him."
"I didnt know the two of you were, well, you know." She says. "Well, fucking."
"We arent, werent, oh, hell, what am I going to?" I moan as I look up at the ceiling fan above my bed. "It wasnt a planned thing. You remember when I told you how bad it was snowing when we came out of the arena after the show last month? Well, I shared his room with him and things just sorta happened."
The phone starts ringing and part of me wants it to go to the machine, but Alex answers it for me. She hands the phone to me and then goes out of the room. My heart almost stops when I hear Pauls voice on the line.
"I was just thinking about you and thought Id call." He says. "Is everything alright?"
"Um, yeah, everythings fine." I lie. "I cant wait to see you this weekend."
"Oh, good, youre still coming." He said excitedly. "Did you get the tickets I sent you?"
"Yeah, I got them yesterday." I said. "Paul, I miss you."
"I miss you, too." He said. "Well, I got to go. See you Friday."
"Yeah, Friday." I say as we hang up.
Alex walks back in with a funny look on her face. She knows that I didnt tell him yet. I cant tell him on the phone - he deserves better than that. I get up from the bed and go about getting things ready to go to work. Alex watches me as I pack the stuff I need to take with me. She knows that I dont want to talk right now, but she also knows that if I dont its likely that I will fall apart once I get to work.
Finally, I get her to leave so that I can make it to work on time. I grabbed a couple of the muffins to eat on the way. Im not really hungry, but I cant starve the baby, now can I? I go through the motions at work and count the minutes until its time to go. Clash of the Champions is Wednesday, so I have a couple of days to get myself together before I have to face everyone again.
I started packing for the weekend once I got home because I couldnt sleep. I was too busy trying to come up with what I was going to tell Paul to even try. Friday could wait.
Unfortunately, when Friday got there, I nervously made my way to the airport. I flew to New Orleans to spend time with Paul. He was waiting at the gate when my flight landed. He pulled me into his arms and kissed me. It was almost enough to reduce me to tears in front of God and everyone in the airport. We rode to the hotel in virtual silence. We had a good weekend and I got to practice my idea of never letting him fall asleep on top of me again.
Sunday night when she picked me up at the airport, Alex could tell by the look on my face that I didnt tell him. She just shrugged her shoulders and let it go. She knew me well enough to tell that I wouldnt hurt him in the least and that I figured that if he felt that the baby was some way to keep him from accomplishing everything he wanted to, it would kill me.
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As I think on it now, it is probably better that I didnt tell him about that baby. I miscarried a couple of months later. A drunk driver hit my car head-on and I spent about three weeks in the hospital. Paul came to see me, but I just couldnt bring myself to open up to him about both the baby and the miscarriage. I was just too devastated. When he left to return to work after I was released from the hospital, I didnt see or talk to him again for the eight longest years of my life. The last five of them were made longer still by an even bigger mistake than letting him get away - I met and married Scott.
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March 17, 2002
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Site of Wrestle Mania X8
I nervously paced around behind the curtain waiting for Scott Hall to get up there to go out. He was facing Stone Cold Steve Austin. Im supposed to assist one friend in the destruction of another. Sure, its only in the script, but when the adrenaline takes over, stuff happens. Finally, he walks up and nods that hes ready to go out there. I must admit that Im incredibly proud of him - hes a great single dad and the way hes working to kick his addictions and tame his demons is incredibly inspiring.
As we walk down the ramp, all the fans jeer and boo us. So what. Do you think that really bothers me? Uh, hello folks, thats the response youre supposed to give us. We are supposed to be the most hated people in the building. And you know something; its really cool to play the bad guy every now and then. Especially, when its so far away from your real personality. I get in the ring and hold the ropes for Scott to get in. I didnt realize how hard it was to move them. I look around the arena and see a sign that I find incredibly funny - it said, "Stephanie is a Rotten Ho." Well, thats close to what I feel about her.
You can tell its the biggest event of the year when Debra escorts Steve to ringside. Youd think we coordinated or outfits or something - with the exception of the logos, were wearing the exact same thing - leather mini skirts, high heels, and low cut leather vests. I hear Jerry Lawler commenting on how this match could easily turn into a battle of the best puppies. He even invited both of us over to sit in his lap. Youd swear he was depraved if you didnt realize thats his shtick.
The match goes according to plan and Steve and Debra celebrate his victory in the ring while I help Scott back up the ramp. I get behind the curtain and Kevin takes Scott over to a chair to watch the next match. I quickly change vests from the standard NWO one to one that matches Hogans ring gear. I have just enough time to touch up my lipstick and hair while their running the video set up for the match. Dwayne Johnson is standing next to us at the curtain. I wished him luck - he says he doesnt need luck. Immediately I realize hes just about as cocky and arrogant as my husband.
Well, we go out there for the match. As we walked down the ramp Terry is giving me explicit instructions on how and when to interfere or call the others down to ringside. Got it. Hey, Im not an idiot. Well, the match went well, except for when I got knocked off the apron. I didnt hurt myself - just got the wind knocked out of me. However, that was the cue that Scott and Kevin were looking for and they ran down the ramp to help Hogan score the win.
Kevin practically carried me back up the ramp. He dropped me in a chair on the set serving as our factions locker room. I watched Pauls match, desperately wanting to go out there with him. Instead, Shawn Michaels seconded him. After he won the title, I was cheering as much for the verbal altercation that Stephanie was having with Jericho as I was for Pauls victory.
I finally got a shower taken and changed my clothes to go back to the hotel. When I came out of the locker room, Paul was waiting for me.
"So, since Scotts not here, I thought maybe youd want to grab a bite with me?" He asked, nervously.
"Sure, I just need to go by the hotel and call him." I answer. "I promised to check in with him once I got back to the hotel after the show."
"Uh, okay." He says. "Shall we go?"
He walks me out to the car. Id been riding with Kevin - for some reason Scott trusts him - and I discover that he and Hall have left without me. I looked over at Paul and he looks like the Cheshire cat and I know what happened to my ride. We got back to the hotel and agreed to meet in the lobby about twenty minutes later.
I called home - it was strange, I didnt get an answer. But I figured that Scott mightve gone over to Ricks house to watch the pay per view and hadnt got home yet. Well, I left him a message and told him to call me on my cell phone when he got it. It was easier than having him go through the interrogation process to get a call into my room. Paul was waiting on me in the lobby when I got back downstairs.
Like I said before things have a funny way of working out sometimes. And I know what its like to be virtually eaten alive by guilt over something. Most of the spring of 1995 was that type of deal for me. Let me explain
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March 24, 1995
Memorial Hospital
Atlanta, Georgia
All I remember is crunching metal as the paramedics wheeled me into the emergency room. Then I remember a massive amount of pain - it seemed like everything hurt. The cop mentioned something about the guy being drunk. My little Geo Storm was hit head on. The hospital called Alex for me. She called Paul. I know she meant well and she believed that Id told him about the baby - right up until I about cussed her out for calling him.
The list of my injuries read like a doctors shopping list. The broken bones and cuts and bruises would heal. Having to explain why Paul had just found out about the baby when I lost it was going to be brutal. However, Alex told me that she didnt say anything about the baby - even though she didnt agree with me not telling him - she only called him because every time his name was mentioned I would light up and she thought I might get better faster if he came to see me.
"Hi, babe." He greeted me from the door with a small bouquet of flowers in his hand. "How are you feeling?"
"Been better." I replied. "The flowers are pretty."
Our conversation was lacking for a while. I was just too ashamed of myself for keeping the baby a secret to hardly talk to him. When I was released from the hospital a few days later, he left to go back on the road. I didnt talk to him again. He continued to call and write for a while - I chose not to respond. Yeah, I admit I was a chicken shit. I was also a scared 22 year-old kid who barely had any sexual experience when I met him and getting knocked up the first time we were together wasnt really on my agenda for my life at the time. I also wasnt prepared to deal with things if hed rejected the idea of becoming a dad at the time. He had told me that he thought that marriage and fatherhood were things he was light years away from. And at 24 who could blame him.
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Okay, before you sit and judge me for what I didnt do or shouldve done, walk a mile in my shoes. At that time I was barely making enough money to keep a roof over my head. Going back to Mobile wasnt an option. My folks had kicked me out when I was 15. I stayed with Alexs family until I graduated high school. My grades were good and I played basketball, softball and ran track, so I went to college at Clemson on full scholarship. As soon as I had my theatre degree in hand, I began shopping myself around to find a good job. Someone I trusted told me that if I could get an interview in Atlanta Id have it made. I got that interview and the job, but the cash didnt come quite as quick as I was hoping.
I guess thats what made Scott all the more appealing when I started seeing him. He was completely different from Paul - who I still missed desperately - and was already a household name in the industry, so he had a good place in the food chain already. Im still working on a reason for staying with him after he started cheating on me and beating me
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March 18, 2002
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Paul and I had a wonderful dinner. I truly had to work to keep from admitting to him that Id fallen in love with him again. He walked me back to my room and started to kiss me goodnight. Instead I offered him a platonic handshake. He looked at me puzzled for a moment.
"With Scott, its do as I say not as I do." I told him. "I dont want him to find out anything more than that we ate dinner together."
"Oh, I see." Paul said with a slightly dejected tone to his voice. "So, are you ready for the show tomorrow?"
"Yeah, just get me there." I said. "Goodnight, Paul. Ill see you tomorrow."
"Goodnight." He whispered and turned away.
I slid the keycard in the lock and was surprised to find that the light that Id left on by the bed was out. Unfortunately, I missed the fact that wasnt the only change in my room when I walked in. Scott was sitting in the dark waiting for me. The realization hit me as hard as his fist hit the left side of my jaw.
I barely had time to recover from the way the punch sent me sprawling facedown on the bed before he pounced on me. There was no time for me to recover as he tore my clothing from me like a man possessed. I was crying and pleading with him to stop what he was doing.
"Shut up, bitch." He growled. "I told you to stay away from Levesque. You know what happens to you when you dont listen."
"Scotty, please dont do this." I cried. "No!"
There was no reasoning with him and all I was left to do was sob uncontrollably while my husband raped me up the ass. When he was finished with that, he grabbed his belt from his jeans and beat me from my shoulder blades to my knees. He rolls me over when he gets bored and starts shaking and slapping me. He finally tires and leaves. I lay on the bed for a few moments gathering my bearings before I even attempt to do anything else. Finally, I gather enough of my wits to do the only thing I could think of - I called Kevin.
"Hello, do you have any idea what time it is?" Kevin growls into the phone.
"Kev, can you come help me?" I say, my voice a tearful whisper.
"Kari, whats going?" He says as it clicks with him as to who had just wakened him.
"Im in room 1411, please hurry." I whisper before hanging up.
In near record time, hes at the door with Scott (Hall) and Paul. They had one of the bellhops open the door for them. Paul runs into the room first. Im drawn up in a corner of the room with a blanket wrapped around me. He comes over to me and I cant make eye contact with him. Kevin gets him to back away from me. Scott calls to get Debra to come to the room. She and Steve showed up shortly thereafter. Steve gets the guys out of the room while Debra comes over to talk to me.
"Kari, what happened to you?" She asked. "You can talk to me."
"Scotty was here when I got back from dinner." I sobbed.
"What, when did he get here?" She asked, shocked.
"I dunno. But he was in the room when I got back." I cried. "He attacked me before I had any chance to defend myself."
"Oh, honey, we need to get you to the hospital and get you checked out." She replied as she wrapped her arms around me. "Do you want me to help you get dressed?
I nodded my head. We could hear Steve and the other guys trying to calm Paul down. He was pissed off at Scott and I think he was just hoping to be pushed to the point of tearing someone apart. In my mind I knew that Debra wasnt going to be much help to me in getting me ready to go to the hospital, but she got me out a loose t-shirt and shorts. I finally decided that the only way to get Paul to relax was to get him in the room with me - besides other than Debra, hes the only one whod seen all of my body and I wanted to keep it that way.
"Paul, can you come in here?" I asked softly. "I dont think Debs gonna be able to hold me up and get me dressed at the same time."
"Uh, okay, if thats what you want." He said.
"Yeah, at least youve seen me naked before." I said, trying to lighten the mood.
Paul entered the room and helped me to my feet. The sight of the bruises and whelps on my body visibly upset him. We finally went out in the hall so that they could take me to the hospital. Mr. McMahon had come out in the hall - his room was at the end of the hall and he heard the guys voices as they stood there talking.
"What happened?" He asked. "Nash, tell me what the hell happened?"
"Steiner raped and beat Kari." Kevin said softly. "If I had to make a guess, hes now in your daughters room."
"Stephanie." Vince said quietly. "Okay, well what are you all doing here?"
"Kari called Kevin." Hall answered. "I called Steve and Debra. Paul was next door to us and heard Kevin when he woke me up to come down here."
"Kari, are you going to press charges against him?" Vince asked. "Im going to void his contract. He cant pass the physical."
"Yeah." I said tearfully. "I cant say that doesnt scare the hell out of me, though."
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Before you ask, yes I did press charges. Yes, Scott was in Stephanies room. Apparently the Toronto Police Department has little respect for wife beaters and they barely let Scott put his pants back on before they carted him off to jail. However, I didnt immediately file for divorce. Before I let you in on my reasons for dragging it out a little while, I think I need to explain why I started dating Scott in the first place.
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October 1996
Everyone around the locker room has been excited that the Steiners returned to WCW. The New World Order is busy making everyones lives miserable - at least on camera. I actually enjoy spending time with Kevin Nash and Scott Hall. I met them through Paul a little over a year ago, but I didnt get to know them until they got here. Well, they have since become good buddies - except when Hall is drinking. Hes an ugly drunk. Its pathetic, really.
Kevin invited me out to dinner with him and some of the other guys. What the hell? I met Scotty at dinner. Immediately, he caught me off guard with a question. He asked if I was a natural redhead. Yes, unfortunately. So, I cant tan without burning or freckling. He promised me that someday hed know for sure.
Well, after that, I started finding things - just little gifts left on my car or in my area. They were simply signed Scott. At first I accused Hall of playing a joke on me, but he swore that he wasnt the one that had been leaving the stuff. Finally, Rick Steiner let me off the hook and told me that it was his brother.
"Why on earth would he be leaving gifts for me?" I asked.
"Because, he wants you, Kari." Rick answered. "He wants to go out with you."
"I dont date wrestlers." I answered.
"Thats not what Nash said." Rick replied. "In fact he said you had quite the affair with Paul Levesque - even after he left here for WWF."
"Yeah, and I fucked that relationship up and I dont want to get hurt or hurt anyone else again." I said. "So, could you tell him to back off, please?"
"Please, just go out with him first before you decide to write him off." Rick asked. "Just one date - if it dont work, then you can call the whole thing off."
On the Saturday after Halloween Havoc, I went to dinner and a movie with Scott. He was a perfect gentleman - opening doors, pulling out chairs - the whole nine yards. I decided to give him a chance. We dated for about three months before he even attempted to get anything more than a goodnight kiss.
The first time we spent the night together, I spent the entire day cleaning my apartment and cooking. He showed up promptly at 7:00 P.M. Things went as was expected and he stayed the night. He wasnt an exceptionally gentle lover - and he was definitely the biggest Id ever seen, but hed actually succeeded in getting me to fall in love with him so I just accepted it.
We were married August 21, 1997. His mother and father loved me. I actually had a whole family again. We spent a week in Hawaii for our honeymoon. We returned to work with a ton of well wishes and good tidings from our co-workers.
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